Z.A.S.

It has been a year since I last updated this blog of mine and the most significant change that has occurred in my absence on this blog would obviously have to be my transition into military life. You see, I was so bored on a fine Friday night after I booked out that I began surfing random websites watching youtube videos, etc. I thought ‘ Why the pointless activities?’ Feeling the sudden urge to write/type/whine, I decided to, well, revive my blog. So there you have it!

You’ve got that right. Its 20 days to the A levels and I don’t feel thoroughly prepared. A cause for worry and alarm? Of course!

To begin with, Prelims were horrible! (Yes I’m aware that I did better than most people,  but I expected better!) With my current rank points, I can’t even get a place in university and that has gotten me extremely worried. Revision’s been going on fine though I wish I can just focus better. I still think that its possible for a miracle to happen in 20 days time. It just requires gut and gumption. Oh yeah, and a WHOLE lot of self-control. I know I can do it but I just don’t want to disappoint myself again, as I have for the previous 2 national examinations (PSLE and O Levels). I just don’t want to have to endure the emotional and metal torture which I experienced on the O level results day.

As such, I have decided that it would be wise for me to refrain from using the computer for this coming three weeks. Good luck to me! (Why do I always say that?)

Fine. I’ll admit it. I suck at updating my blog. Well I hope to resuscitate it with this post  at least( and future ones I hope!). Its been a month or so since I last updated  (no?) and a lot has definitely happened since then. Just to name a few, Ramadhan has ended, celebartions for Eid has begun and the Prelims are starting (Sucks!) I shall talk bout those events in separate blog posts.

Anyway, I was reading my previous posts and I found myself laughing to it. Well, not to all of them of course. Just the ones where I promised myself to start studying for the A levels. Its rather hilarious ( no, its actually rather tragic!) come to think of it. I can only stay committed to mugging no longer than  day or two and I know for a fact that that amount of studying will not suffice (so why the hell am I even blogging?!). The prelims are starting tomorrow and I’m unprepared. My hope was for the Prelims to be a teaser for the A level’s i.e. I’m SUPPOSED to have my revision done by the Prelims so I can test my knowedge but where am I now? Nowhere near done! I’m freaking out and I’m starting to worry that I might not even get into a university. I’ve read a couple of my seniors’ blogs who did rather badly for their A levels and I can assure you that it sucks to be  worrying while waiting for a placement in any university. Whatever the situation may be, I must complete my revision in time for the A levels. I just need more self-restraint.

It doesnt help either that school’s getting really boring. Hiazzz. Well I chose this route myself so I better stick to it. My education in AJC is ending soon anyway.

So good luck to myself and to anyone who’s taking the A levels in like 57 days time

Too lazy to update my blog….

I’m rotting away doing my homework now

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking as of late regarding my post jc/ns life and i can honestly say that i’m not particularly clear of what my game plan is.

Yes. I have my goals. The parameters are set but the means, not so. I have so many options to choose from and i’m not really sure what i want to do and how i go about achieving my goals. Will i do a basic law degree or a double degree law programme tied with either business or economics? Or should i do a basic law degree plus a masters in law in NYU? Do I read law at SMU or NUS if i choose to stay in Singapore? Do I apply for FASS if I fail to qualify for Law School? Should i venture overseas? Should  I apply for  a scholarship? If so, with whom? MFA or SIA? Which overseas university would suit me best?

Well, i guess that NS is afterall blessing. I ‘ll have time to think about all of these issues and sort myself out. But before i worry about all these issues, i must be able to do well for the A levels so that qualifying for a university wouldn’t be too hard!

 I’ve got my mojo back! I’m gonna start mugging!

Its a sickness I tell you. One that eats you up from the inside. Seriously, just get off our backs!

Its finally gonna be over. In less than 24 hours, Paradigma 2010 will come to an end and with that, i can finally concentrate on my studies!

Full steam ahead with revision

Mid year results have been quite ok so far. Really didnt expect to pass history since I effectively started studying the day before. What was more shocking was the fact that I scored the highest (out of my 4 essays) for the very topic i left out!

Left with econs and lit. We’ll see how that goes. In the meantime, i’ll just keep my fingers crossed:)

Voices.

I hear millions

‘Don’t do that’. ‘Do this’

They command

I scream.

I protest

Nothing. I hear nothing.

I scream

Unheard

Drowned by the chatter of the adults

I’m all alone

No one wants to listen…

I’M SO FUCKING MAD RIGHT NOW!!!

I WANNA SCREAM!!!

Please don’t tell me what to do anymore! Your concern is really suffocating me!!! Don’t tell me what’s best for me. You dont know me and the hell that i’ve been through my whole life!

Yes i know that you ‘care’ but I don’t need your help as of now!

The only help you can render me now is for you to try to understand me and my predicament! Do not jump to conclusions. I seriously do not know what sort of convulated ideas go on in that twisted little mind of yours.

Just leave me alone!!!!!!